Stop the Rules
As I drive over the bridge to the mainland each day, I am very aware that the speed limit is 30 mph. I am even more aware as there is almost always a cop sitting on the bridge, waiting to issue tickets.
30 mph is so painfully slow, and I feel impatient as I cross the bridge, thinking more about this rule instead of noticing the beautiful inter coastal waterway surrounding me.
External rules - that is, rules outside of us that we are expected as citizens to obey....are something we need to follow or we will suffer consequences. Incidentally, these rules, for example the 30 mph speed limit on the bridge, were considered by a committee of government employees and issued with careful (well, hopefully careful) consideration.
I can grasp this. It's like a mathematical equation. It has basically one outcome and it's laid out and methodical.
But what about those "rules" I have inside my own mind?
I don't have a committee sorting them out for me. I generally don't have a logical explanation or point of reference either. These rules are not mathematical equations. They are more like abstract art.
What do I mean by rules? I mean, my mind saying "well don't do or do this because then such and such will happen."
My mind is effectively making up cause and effect.
Half or more than half the time, my mind isn't coming from a common sense point of view.
First of all, is the cause in question even a cause at all? Is it happening in reality? If it is happening, is it REALLY what is happening?
Second, I am coming up with effects, which indicate that my mind thinks it can see into the future.
Well, that's just not logical!!!
We all have a "gut" feeling, and "listen to our heart" is an effective piece of advice.
How often to you hear, "listen to your mind?"
My mind will get so attached and excited about one of its ideas that are based in some other reality, that it does everything it can to convince me its ideas are correct.
Often, one of the most effective ways my mind accomplishes this is setting "Emily Rules."
"Emily Rules" basically make no sense. But they can be exhilarating, or terrifying. Fear does work as a guide, but it's a false guide.
Using fear as a guide is a bit like being in a bad part of town and asking someone who wants you to stay in the bad part of town how to get out of there. The person is going to lie to you, give you bad directions, keep you exactly where you don't want to be.
Already being in a place of fear, it's difficult to see the bad guide for what it is.
But there is a way to do it.
This is what works for me, and maybe other strategies work for others, but the objective is to get out of fear town. So here is how I get out of fear town.
The first thing is to recognize: I am in fear town. Did I even know I was there? Sometimes fear town looks disguised. But my feelings tell me I am here.
The second thing is to say: I am here, now I want to get out. I will do anything I need to to get out.
Is there a sign at the borders of fear town that say "do not cross out of fear town or you will be swallowed into the abyss?" That's a made up rule. That's made up by fear town, to keep me there. I ignore that sign. I keep on going.
I'm leaving, but there's a draw to go back. How do I resist this draw? I concentrate on all things good, on all things happy, all things that come from love. And I keep concentrating. I immerse myself in all things good, until I don't feel the fear any more. I then see it for what it is: false, restricting, and of no use.
Each time I visit fear town and use my strategy, it's a little bit easier to get out. I don't have any preconceptions that I will never visit it again. I'm a human being and that's an emotion we face in life and we will continue to face it.
But it's what we do with fear that matters. Do we let it stop us, or do we strive to see what's on the other side?
I'm heading out of fear town and heading to the coast, where the speed limit sign says: "none."
30 mph is so painfully slow, and I feel impatient as I cross the bridge, thinking more about this rule instead of noticing the beautiful inter coastal waterway surrounding me.
External rules - that is, rules outside of us that we are expected as citizens to obey....are something we need to follow or we will suffer consequences. Incidentally, these rules, for example the 30 mph speed limit on the bridge, were considered by a committee of government employees and issued with careful (well, hopefully careful) consideration.
I can grasp this. It's like a mathematical equation. It has basically one outcome and it's laid out and methodical.
But what about those "rules" I have inside my own mind?
I don't have a committee sorting them out for me. I generally don't have a logical explanation or point of reference either. These rules are not mathematical equations. They are more like abstract art.
What do I mean by rules? I mean, my mind saying "well don't do or do this because then such and such will happen."
My mind is effectively making up cause and effect.
Half or more than half the time, my mind isn't coming from a common sense point of view.
First of all, is the cause in question even a cause at all? Is it happening in reality? If it is happening, is it REALLY what is happening?
Second, I am coming up with effects, which indicate that my mind thinks it can see into the future.
Well, that's just not logical!!!
We all have a "gut" feeling, and "listen to our heart" is an effective piece of advice.
How often to you hear, "listen to your mind?"
My mind will get so attached and excited about one of its ideas that are based in some other reality, that it does everything it can to convince me its ideas are correct.
Often, one of the most effective ways my mind accomplishes this is setting "Emily Rules."
"Emily Rules" basically make no sense. But they can be exhilarating, or terrifying. Fear does work as a guide, but it's a false guide.
Using fear as a guide is a bit like being in a bad part of town and asking someone who wants you to stay in the bad part of town how to get out of there. The person is going to lie to you, give you bad directions, keep you exactly where you don't want to be.
Already being in a place of fear, it's difficult to see the bad guide for what it is.
But there is a way to do it.
This is what works for me, and maybe other strategies work for others, but the objective is to get out of fear town. So here is how I get out of fear town.
The first thing is to recognize: I am in fear town. Did I even know I was there? Sometimes fear town looks disguised. But my feelings tell me I am here.
The second thing is to say: I am here, now I want to get out. I will do anything I need to to get out.
Is there a sign at the borders of fear town that say "do not cross out of fear town or you will be swallowed into the abyss?" That's a made up rule. That's made up by fear town, to keep me there. I ignore that sign. I keep on going.
I'm leaving, but there's a draw to go back. How do I resist this draw? I concentrate on all things good, on all things happy, all things that come from love. And I keep concentrating. I immerse myself in all things good, until I don't feel the fear any more. I then see it for what it is: false, restricting, and of no use.
Each time I visit fear town and use my strategy, it's a little bit easier to get out. I don't have any preconceptions that I will never visit it again. I'm a human being and that's an emotion we face in life and we will continue to face it.
But it's what we do with fear that matters. Do we let it stop us, or do we strive to see what's on the other side?
I'm heading out of fear town and heading to the coast, where the speed limit sign says: "none."
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