Walls

In a recent blog post, I made an analogy about having to chip away at a wall in order to cross it.

But today I wondered, what if I have absolutely no tools or time to chip away at this wall?  What if I am up against it and it's so close I can smell it.  I can hear it.  I am completely terrified of what's inside this wall.  It seems so thick! Impenetrable.

How on earth can I get past this wall?  Science tells me it is made of atoms and so am I, and if I try to move through it, I am going to meet its atoms and, if I run at it from a distance, I'm bound to hit it at such an intensity that I'll seriously injure myself.

So I can't just run and crash into the wall.  That's out.

As taken from the other post, this wall is infinitely wide and very tall. It's also very smooth - no way to climb.

I'm at standstill.  I take a moment and cry my heart out.

When I regain my composure, something has changed.

That wall is no longer what it was.

I gently place my hand against the wall, and I realize it is malleable.

I am hopeful, but still concerned because now I find I may be able to enter the wall, I still hear and smell horrible things inside.

I am petrified.  My body becomes almost frozen and I am tempted to cease the whole idea of getting through this wall.  It's too much.  I can't do it.

I close my eyes for a moment.  I contemplate my dilemma, and I realize that I have no choice but to go through with what I started.  The air is becoming thin on this side of the wall.  I cannot exist here much longer.

I tense and start working my way through this wall.  As I continue, it becomes more malleable.  As I start to look around me, I see that the horrors I thought were there were actually not there at all.  They were where I started from.

Even though I am making it through the wall, it's not easy.  It requires great physical and mental effort, and it is exhausting me.

But I can start to breathe the oxygenated air on the other side.

The horrors are almost gone now.

Finally, I see the other side.  It emerges and then fades for a moment.  I find myself discouraged that it doesn't just open up at once.

I emerge and I see the wall behind me.  It disappears.  I am aware of myself and feel that I've left a part of my former self behind, like a snake sheds its skin.  I am shaken by this, but only for a little while.

For the moment, I am going to enjoy where I am.  In the back of my mind, there is a realization that another wall will face me, and in that moment I will forget some of the skills I learned to walk through the wall.  But I will find them again, along with other skills.

As I adjust my perception, I can see that nothing is impossible, everything happens in its own time, and with any wall I create in my life, I have already created the skills to walk through it.